I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
