Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
ok first of all what the fuck
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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