...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm always down for nudity.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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