NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
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