Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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