He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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