I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize