I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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