hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
