what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
