Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
