And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
