ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
