There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
