So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize