I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
