Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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