plz talk dirty to me
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
