Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
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