i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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