This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
