she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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