I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
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I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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