Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
