Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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