I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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