Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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