Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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