Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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