and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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