I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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