East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
