I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
