btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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