I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
