how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I deserve this hangover.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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