its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize