i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
