Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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