yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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