she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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