She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
