Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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