very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
