This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
