so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
