brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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