Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
