i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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