i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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