I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize