His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
