Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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