i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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