I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So vagazzling was a success
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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