I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize