What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
