I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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