I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
