i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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