Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
