sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
your room smells of hookers.
And success
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize