ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I want a musical about memes.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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